I always say something weird, not because I think of it that way, but because I am just tired. Things come out without thinking. I don't like the feeling that I can't control what I say, but it just happens all the time. And worst of all, misunderstanding raises because of that. Sometimes no quarrel, no fight, no conflict, but just something not proper comes out from my "mouth." At least, I would not say something like that when I am 清醒......
I hope one day I will become a person who doesn't say too much, but just simply listen and act. I really feel that I talk too much, I share too much. It's not the case of good or bad, proper or improper; I just feel I should say less. No matter what I say, they are not 100 % concerning to the "real" concept that I really want to say (Oh, Derrida's idea?). And sometimes I feel that when I say something, it doesn't mean that I am that kind of person too. Sometimes I am just sharing that I hope I will be that kind of person some day. However, somehow people feel that I am that kind of good person, but NO! I AM NOT! Sigh, I don't want people look down to me, but I don't want them look up to me either.
Anyways, I'd rather keep quiet, and that would keep me safe from saying something wrong. That's pessimistic, I know. I am a pessimist!
Ok... 胡言亂語也夠了
by the way, I cut my hair myself again..... hehehe... it's fun.... last night I was like a hairstylist! hahaha.... not really. The only thing I expected was not to ruin my beautiful hair, and my face..... haha
- May 21 Mon 2007 06:17
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